The Caskey Family

Marking Time or Making Memories
September 14, 2010, 8:30 pm
Filed under: Adina, grief | Tags: , , ,

Lately I have struggled with just marking time – with feeling like I’m just surviving as a mommy of little ones.  Once one task is done, we are on to the next: eat, sleep, prepare food, bathe, shower, brush teeth (did my oldest really say to me today, “mommy we forgot to brush my teeth”??)  Some days we go to sleep and I realize I haven’t read aloud to one of my children, or spent time snuggling them (which we all love!)  How is it that the things I love most get pushed off ’til last?

Yesterday would have been my mom’s 53rd birthday.  In a matter of weeks I leave 32, living past the age my mother had her first heart attack.  Some days I wonder if I will be here ’til 40 like my mom was.  Micah is just a few months shy of the age that my youngest brother was when my mom died.  Of course my brother has no memory of my mother.  How many days do I have left with my children?  Our lives are short, in comparison to eternity.  What am I doing to point my children to Jesus today?  If I am gone before them, what have I left them to point them to Him then?

So, I sat down tonight and wrote again in their baby books.  Just in case.  We aren’t promised tomorrow.  Being aware of that isn’t morbid, it’s being realistic and honest.  I also realized I hadn’t written a letter to Micah yet.  I have one written for Merry and Elijah for them to read now, or when they get older, whether I’m alive or not.  In that letter I share with them my highest hopes and prayers for them, and of course about my love for them and my love for the God  who made them who I pray they have faith to love and serve someday soon.  In their baby books I try to write all the funny stuff that we forget when they grow up. . .the funny stuff you say you will tell their future spouse, but totally forget when they are old enough to be married!

What do you remember your parents doing to make memories or what memento do you treasure most from your family?  What do you do with your children to show your love in a memorable way?